"Time may change me but I can't trace time."

I wish my tummy would feel normal again. I just want to eat a pizza and not burp it up for the next two hours. I want to enjoy Indian Food again. Instead I feel repulsed thinking about the Vegetable Masala patties that sit in the freezer. I am nowhere close to feeling this way. Right now I want a Chicken Teriyaki Bowl from Jack In the Box or something with guac in it. I have been watching a lot of COPS as of late and I find it pretty entertaining. Like squealing with delight when they bust out the Tazer. I feel lethargic and I feel as if time is slower. I try and eat better even eating more fruit and I haven't had any sweets in the junk food category. I can't remember the last time I had a rice crispy treat. I wish I could want something sweet for one day. Carrot Cake the homemade kind sounds reeeallly good actually.

Midwestern blues

Sometimes I really miss the Midwest. I don't mean the people, because my time there I did encounter a lot of ignorant people, but I miss the landscape and nature. I miss seeing huge trees and the leaves changing color and squirrels and rabbits running around all over the place. I miss rain that lasts longer than 10 minutes. Lightning storms and occasionally I miss snow. I miss seeing lakes. I remember how awesome it was while in Michigan to see just a huge lake surrounded by trees it's definitely something I'd like to see again. There is a significant lack of things to do out there compared to Southern California, but sometimes I like to imagine sitting under a tree near a lake, reading a book.

31 days.

I turn 30 in 31 days. I don't know how I feel about that quite yet. I do feel old. I lived the beginning of my 20's so hedonistically.  I learned a lot throughout my 20's though. I now can stretch my paychecks to last longer. I don't spend money as foolishly as I had when I was younger. I don't really go out much, instead I became a troglodyte. I work and I go home. I never really had any big birthday parties with friends. When people ask me what I have planned for my 30th, I don't have much of a response. What is there really to do? I'd love to go to Las Vegas, drink and gamble a bit. However, I am not the drinker I used to be and this is evident from two nights ago. I purchased a Stone's sublimely self-righteous ale and could only drink half of it. This is in comparison of course to a much younger me drinking Jack Daniels followed by Jack and Coke chasers. I was careless then. I want to feel optimistic about my 30's, I want to say that I look forward to it and all of it's future adventures with excitement. This of course would be a lie. I feel like 30 is the gateway to becoming a Real adult and therefore, real problems. I'm getting older and I know I should probably start a family sooner than later. A real career. These things don't allow much for adventure and excitement. I hope I can manage to make 30 special somehow. I'm just out of ideas.